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I’m baaaaaaack . . .

I suck.

Not in a hemovorous sort of way, either. More in a “can you believe how long it’s been since I posted on my website” sort of way. I plead parenthood, two active pseudonyms (Damn you, Cortez, and your Teutonic success!) plus there was this terrible natural disaster during an alien invasion while I was very sick and it wasn’t my fault.

All right. Let’s see if I can update my general progress.

Parenthood mentioned. Check.

Book Four of The Bloodhound Files, Better Off Undead, coming out on October the Third. Check.

Book Five, Back From the Undead, finished and turned in. Check. Wait, I haven’t actually received the check yet. Pending.

Book Six, Undead to the World, in progress. Just finished Chapter 4, actually. I mean, check—

Pardon me, senora. A moment of your time, if you please. My new novel, REMOTE, will also be issued shortly as an e-book. It is a sequel—

–hang on, pal. You can’t just bust in here and start promoting your own stuff while I’m in the middle of an update—

–a sequel to my novel THE CLOSER, which, as you know, made it onto the top ten bestseller list in Europe—

No, Cortez, it didn’t. It hit number 25. In Germany. And the sequel doesn’t even drop until next May, so why are you interrupting me right now?

It comes out in Germany in May, it is true, but the e-book will be sooner. And in English.

Sigh. Okay, what’s the e-pub date?

I do not know. Yet.

Right. Go away.

Farewell, senora. Until we meet again.

That guy . . . anyway, what else? Oh, yeah, Jace was nominated as Urban Fantasy Heroine of the!year last year (she didn’t win, and is still sulking). I’m really excited about the current book, which does some very interesting things as far as the relationship between Jace and Charlie go—

Hey there!

Oh, no. You, too?

Don DeBrandt here! Just thought I’d let you all know my out-of-print Science Fiction works are also being released as e-books! The cyberpunk classic THE QUICKSILVER SCREEN, my cyberfolk trilogy, STEELDRIVER, TIMBERJAK and V.I. will all soon be available again!

Terrific. Congratulations. You don’t have a release date, either, do you?

No, I don’t!

Uh-huh.

And my exclamation point is stuck!

I can see that.

Actually, it really hurts! Please help me!

I hate you, DeBrandt. Donn Cortez is smarmy, but you’re a lunatic.

I think it’s getting worse!!!

Goodbye, DeBrandt.

Aaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!—oh, that’s better.

Moving right along . . . my publisher is currently considering a proposal for a new series. Don’t want to say too much right now, but it will bring the funny. And the twisted. And the shambling . . .

I guess that’s about it for now—oh, wait. I have a Facebook page now, and a Twitter account. Follow me or drop me a comment, please. The only thing keeping me sane while I wade through robot-generated comment spam promising me great deals on Liberian passports is the prospect of something written by an actual human being. So please, for the love of God, post something. Anything. Just try to restrain yourself on the use of exclamation points—my ears are still ringing from DeBrant’s little visit.
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